Make the Yuletide
by ObsidianJade
Summary: A perverted yet WAFF-y Puppyshipping story involving a boatload of double entendre, delivered through misuse and abuse of multiple Christmas carols. Crack, Yaoi. One-shot.


A/N: I was planning to post this before Christmas, but work was hectic. (As was life..) The radio station I listen to plays only Christmas music through the entire month of December, and it gets into your head after a while…

No Christmas carols were actually harmed in the making of this story. The composers of several, however, are no doubt rolling in their graves and/or committing seppuku due to the use of them.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own YuGiOh. For which people will shortly be very, very glad.

WARNINGS: Exceptional amounts of **crack**. **Yaoi. OOCness**, but it's minor. And a boatload of duble entendre through the abuse of Christmas carols.

**MAKE THE YULETIDE**

'_O-oh, I-uh'll have a buh-luuueee Cuh-ristmaaas without youuuuu…'_

"Joey, if you do not shut that damn livestream off, I am going to take drastic measures."

Grinning to himself, Joey boosted the volume just a little bit. If Kaiba insisted on staying in the office and working, and Joey insisted they spend more time together… well, the final result was fairly obvious.

The next few minutes passed almost quietly; Seto ground his teeth, tapping away at spreadsheets on his laptop, while Joey, sprawled on the lushly carpeted office floor, hummed along with the Christmas carols spouting nonstop from _his _laptop. He'd been playing the American station daily since the beginning of December, and it played nothing but Christmas music.

Joey reveled in it, but Seto was wishing for a silent night of a very different variety.

Growing bored - not for the first time that evening - Joey rolled over onto his back, giving Seto his best puppy-dog impression.

"Setoooo…"

"Busy, pup. And turn that down, please."

The 'please' had no doubt cost him. Frowning slightly, Joey flopped back onto his stomach and lowered the volume a fraction, only to begin singing along with the song instead. _"Jingle bell time… is a swell time… to go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh…"_

"Pup!"

"Aw, come on, Seto," Joey purred, glancing up at Seto through lowered lashes. "Don't you want to jingle _my_ bells?"

Seto choked. "Pup, that is not what they mean by 'make the Yuletide gay.' "

Joey snickered slightly, rolling up on his hands and knees to crawl forward. "You mean I don't get to play with your 'little Saint Nick'?"

"That is a very disturbing image."

"You're right…" Joey answered, mock-thoughtfully. "Besides, when I keep you going long enough, it's really more like Rudolph the Red - "

"_Joey!!" _Amazingly, the young CEO managed to sounded downright scandalized.

Grinning broadly, Joey inched forward again, aiming to rest his chin on Seto's knee. "_Seto baby… won't you hurry down my chimney tonight?"_

"In this case," Seto drawled, pretending his attention was back on his computer screen, "wouldn't I be hurrying _up_ your 'chimney'?"

Joey stopped short in midcrawl, blinking up at Seto. "That was… crude."

"Maybe, but you started it. And it shut you up for five seconds."

Joey snorted indignantly and rolled back to his laptop, turning the volume of 'Adeste Fidelis' to it's maximum in response, and singing the line '_Oh, __**come,**__ all ye faithful,' _with far more force than necessary.

"Joey…"

"Aww, come on, Seto. I've been faithful."

Seto paused, waiting for it.

"Don't I get to come?"

…he'd known _that _was coming. "You are intent on reducing our relationship to it's most vulgar level, aren't you?"

"Eh? No!" Joey answered, sounding shocked enough that Seto believed him. "I like ya all the time, Seto, probably even love ya. You're just a lot more fun on dates, or in the bedroom, than you are in the office."

"How flattering," Seto responded dryly, waving a hand towards the windows. "Unfortunately for us - and my under-utilized bed - 'the weather outside is frightful.' "

Joey glanced at the windows and blew out a sigh. It had been snowing steadily all day, a rare-to-unheard-of event in Domino - and most of the roads had been closed.

Given that it was Christmas Eve, however, the majority of the population had elected to remain home. Seto, of course, never agreed with the majority of the population. They could still get home, but it would take quite some time.

"Shipping was delayed by the storm," Seto said finally, shutting his browser window with a sigh. "Your gifts won't be here by tomorrow, I'm afraid."

Joey, who had been glowering at his laptop, perked up immediately. "You got me presents?"

"I ordered you presents. I haven't gotten them yet."

"Still… I didn't think you were gonna get me anything." Joey didn't seem worried by this - pleased, rather, which meant that there was probably something present-ish for Kaiba lurking back at the mansion.

"You weren't expecting gifts?"

"No, but I had a few things on my list that only you could give me," Joey countered, slowly scooting forward again.

Silently, Seto reached out and pulled his laptop closed. That was Joey's signal that work was officially done for the day, and the fun could now begin. The laptop had barely clicked shut before Seto wound up with a lap full of very enthusiastic puppy.

"So," Kaiba murmured, mock-serious, wrapping his arms around Joey's waist, "tell me about this Christmas list of yours. I want to make sure I didn't leave anything out of my order."

"We-ell," Joey drawled back, curling his arms around the CEO's neck, "it's a very… 'grown-up Christmas list.' "

"I see," Kaiba answered, tilting his head so that Joey's forehead rested against his own. "Tell me more."

"Well, what it boils down to…" Joey paused, feathering a kiss across Seto's nose, "is that all I want for Christmas," the last words were spoken against Seto's lips as Joey leaned in for a kiss.

"…is you."

END

ENDNOTES: **All songs copyright respective singers/songwriters (where applicable)**. My apologies to Elvis fans - I have nothing against the King, I actually am something of a fan myself, but I've never really liked 'Blue Christmas," and I figured it would annoy Kaiba.

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM FLAMING. THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN!

A Merry if belated Christmas and a Happy New Year!!


End file.
